Humorous Quotes


“Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them.” – Simon Wiesenthal

Nothing dispels gloom like humour. The heaviest of moments can become lighter with a touch of humour. It works wonders when things tend to get too serious, and there is also no icebreaker like humour.

Humour, however, has to be used carefully in any situation – the main idea being that it should not be at the expense of anyone present. Due consideration, however, has to be given to the fact that if used indiscreetly, it can hurt too. Also to be borne in mind is the fact that the sense of humour differs from person to person. What may be hilarious to one person may sound like a poor joke to another.

There are certain humorous quotes, however, that I personally enjoy reading, and I do hope that you will like this collection too. I would like to open this page with a collection of humorous quotes from my all-time favourite author, the inimitable P.G. Wodehouse, who had a unique sense of humor and whose finesse and writing style was a class apart. Although the collection of quotes is from various personalities, this page is dedicated to him.



P.G. Wodehouse

P.G. Wodehouse

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”

“I always advise people never to give advice.”

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.”

“There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”

“Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.”

“The only thing that prevented a father’s love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.”

“He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.”

“Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing glove.”

“She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.”

“It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as a Pekinese puppy.”

“She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing armchairs tight about the hips that season”.

“You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.”

“It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn’t”.

“A man’s subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.”

“If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

“Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.”

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  1. Your work inspires people and provides relevant information that are needed in every facets of life. Thanks.

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